In hopes of helping you keep or maybe re-discover your perspective, I’m pulling back the curtain and sharing my recent journey into the depths of Resistance and back again.
Being in business is the most proactive personal development activity on the planet. Life is too, of course, and being in business forces you to face your stories and fears in ways that other dimensions of your life don’t.
If you’ve been in business any length of time, I”m sure you can relate!
You probably went into business filled with excitement, exhilaration, optimism and a sense purpose in every fiber of your being. There was no time for doubts and distractions.
For me, I had 20 years of business, marketing and teaching experience – how hard could it be?! I was ready!
And we don’t know what we don’t know. We feel called to great heights, and often don’t even see the stumbling blocks, much less the abyss.
Fast forward to this fall. Being in business has been an transformational roller-coaster experience.
Hopefully, you’re enjoying the rewards too – working with amazing clients, helping them transform their lives and businesses as they transform yours. Developing new friendships and relationships along the way, crossing thresholds, changing your old stories, releasing baggage you no longer choose to carry. The wins, the losses – the growth!
Holy moly! Business in a nutshell.
Just when everything seems great…
So this time, when fear and Resistance came, (it never truly goes away) I thought I was ready.
As usual, it reared it’s ugly head seemingly out of the blue. And as I look back now from the other side of the crevasse – I see the warning signs that were there. The hesitations and stumbles, the doubts and distractions that began to PILE on, the procrastination – and finally – the paralysis.
Damn. It was deep. I was stuck. And terrified. For a dark time I wandered perilously close to the edge. I had my first ever anxiety attack. I had a huge pit in my stomach – daily. I took a break. Unplugged completely.
I felt so confused! I’d always moved through my stuff with meditation, journaling, movement, breathing – intentionally and fairly easily. Over the past several years I’d peeled back various versions of “I can’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not worthy”, “Who am I to do this?”.
Why was this time so HARD?
I’d done the work. I’d released those stories. I thought.
And here they were again – on steroids! I recognized they were all variations on the same theme. Distinctly different, and very similar. As I worked through this massive block I discovered how our thoughts cluster around and obscure our core negative beliefs. These tricky devils work together to protect us from our deepest fear. Oh they are slippery. That’s why it can feel like they come back, even after you’ve done the work on each one.
“You again?! I thought we were done?”
I’m so glad for my an incredible support system. Without it, I’m not sure I’d be writing to you today, renewed, re-energized and on fire! I hope so. And I’ll never know. As I shared my deepest fears with my mentor and mastermind members, they helped me see the thing – my core negative belief – that was holding me back.
I don’t mind sharing it – but it’s kind of long and complicated. Seems like most stories are, right?
Working through this particular story with the help of people I know, love and trust was a longer journey than I thought it would be. Thankfully, I’m well on the road to recovery, and so grateful for every person who has walked alongside me.
And I’m grateful for you. You are the reason I do this work. And why I’m sharing such a personal journey.
Steps to Releasing Resistance
Please, remember, when you’re dancing with your own demons – they’re there for a reason. There’s a lesson to learn. Lean in and ask for guidance, for answers. You’ll find them. You already know what the answers are, sometimes it just takes a mirror to see them.
If you’re struggling with fear, or any of the masks it wears: confusion, procrastination, anxiety, depression, guilt, anger, and worry, to name just a few – the most important thing you can do is practice gratitude and faith.
It’s impossible to stay stuck in fear if you can find the things in your life you are grateful for. You may not feel grateful as you make your list. That’s ok for now. Just make a list and keep adding to it. And allow the love to come through again.
Remind yourself that you are here for a greater purpose, and have faith that you will find the way – and that you aren’t alone. God, the Universe, Spirit, the Divine, Source – it’s real. Remember who you are. And take time for self-care during this period. Rest. Trust. Breathe. Move. Find a trusted friend or colleague to talk to.
And write. Pour out the confusion and anguish onto paper. Don’t edit your thoughts – just write a stream of consciousness from the heart. Keep your hand moving across the paper until you have filled 2 pages. And do it again the next day, and the next. This activity, born from Julia Cameron’s Artist’s Way is one of the biggest gifts I give myself.
It will bring out the best and worst in you. And will help the fears surface and find their true voice. Don’t be alarmed by this.
Just acknowledge them, thank them for trying to keep you safe, love them, and let them go. Release the resistance. The fear.
As one friend put it – “It can stay in the car with you if it must, but it can’t drive!”
Next time it happens, when you feel the fear and resistance arise, remember this is part of the journey. It is truly darkest before the dawn. And, if you persevere, you’ll grow in ways that may surprise you. You WILL find the treasure you seek – it’s more beautiful than you can imagine!
You have gifts and talents to share – and you’re amazing, perfect, and enough – just the way you are. And so am I.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.